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英文笑话

Akimbo 叉腰
Just like most of other kids, aged two Emilia didn' t like washing hands──she' s always wiping the dirt off hands on her clothes. One day I accompanied her to have fried cicadae(蝉). Habitually she rubbed her grease fingers on her real silk short gown. I held back (阻挡) her from doing it: " What do you want to do?" She was immediately on to (意识)her blame, replied...
What Color 什么颜色
What ColorAn impoverished graduate student at Clemson University in South Carolina, I was excited when my father informed me that he had bought me a car. Hardly able to contain my enthusiasm, I asked Dad the typical questions: "What kind is it? Does it have a stick shift? Does it have a tape deck?""It's a 1982 Toyota," he replied. "It's a four spee...
借公牛一用 borrow an ox
Once upon a time, there lived a rich man, but he didn't know any words.  One day, one of his friends wanted to borrow an ox from him, so he wrote a note and asked his servant to take it to this rich man.   After the servant gave the note to the rich man, he pretended to be reading it and after a while, he said, "OK, I know. Go and tell your master, I'll go myself shortly.从...
Things Have Been Okay一切都正常
Things Have Been OkayA young couple werebecoming anxious about their four-year-old son, who had not yet talked. They took him to specialists, but the doctors found nothing wrong with him. Then one morning at breakfast the boy suddenly blurted, Mom, the toast is burned.You talked! You talked! Shouted his mother. I'm so happy! But why has it taked this long?Well, up till now, Said...
我丈夫马上就要回来了(My Husband Will Be Home Soon)
My Husband Will Be Home SoonA married man was visiting his "girlfriend" when she requested that he shave his beard."Oh James, I like your beard, but I would really love to see your handsome face."James replied, "My wife loves this beard, I couldn't possibly do it, she would kill me!!""Oh please?" the girlfriend asked again, in a sexy littl...
好客 Hospitality
HospitalityThe hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate. The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese...
音乐家最重要的生理素质是什么?
In an entrance examination of a conservatory of music, a teacher asked one of the boys, "What is the most important physiological quality of a musician?""To be deaf," replied the boy."Nonsense!" said the teacher angrily."Why, sir! Don't you know that the famous musician Beethoven was deaf?" the boy asked in reply disdainfully.在一次音乐学院的入学考...
醉酒 Drunk
DrunkOne day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk."&qu...
a neuropathy 一个神经病
Have a neuropathy, I do not know where to get a handful of pistols, he is gone in a little black alley. When suddenly a young man, neuropathy apart from anything else its guns on the ground by pointing to his head. Asked one plus a few zero. Terrified young people, thought for a long time. Answer, equals two. Neuropathy of the killing he did not hesitate. And then get pulled in his arms, s...
我是来装电话的 install the phone
A young businessman had just started his business, and rented a beautiful office. Sitting there, he saw a man come into the outer office. Wishing to appear busy, the businessman picked up the phone and pretended that he had a big deal working. He threw huge figures around and made giant commitments.Finally, he hung up and asked the visitor. "Can I help you?" The man said, "S...