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英文笑话

Improvement(进步)
One student to another: "How are your English lessons coming along?""Fine. I used to be one who couldn't understand the English men, and now it's the English men who can't understand me."进步一位学生对另一位说:“你的英语最近学的怎么样?”“很好,我过去不懂英国人说话,可现在是英国人不懂我的话了。”
How to Become Rich 如何致富
Little brother: I saw you kiss my elder sister, and if you don't give me a nickel I'll tell my father.Sister's boyfriend: No, don't do that. Here's a nickel.Little brother: That makes a buck and a quarter I've made this month.弟弟:我看见你亲我姐姐了,如果你不给我五分钱,我就告诉我爸。姐姐的男朋友:不要那样做。给你五分钱。弟弟:我这个月已经赚了一块两毛五了。
Barking dogs don't bite会叫的狗不咬人
The little girl did not like the look of the barking dog."It's all right," said a gentleman, "don't be afraid. Don't you know the proverb: Barking dogs don't bite?""Ah, yes," answered the little girl. "I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too?"一个小女孩非常不喜欢狗狂叫的样子。“没有关系,”一位先生说,“不用害怕,你知...
Where did you find the cheese?
Thehostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment    and returned with a piece of cheese ...
What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk'
One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he  asked, "What's the meaning of ...
You're a good boy
Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?""I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered."You're a good boy,&...
I Have His Ear in My Pocket
Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?""A kid bit me," replied Ivan."Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother...
Give up your seat to a lady
Little Johnny says "Mom, when I was on the bus with Daddy this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.""You've done the right thing," says Mommy."But Mo...
How old are you?
“I’m sorry. Please don’t ask a lady about her age,” the actress said uneasily.“How much do you earn each month?” the Chinese tried hard to recall this sentence from his textbook.“Sorry aga...
Are you going to treat me?
An American actress came to China for the first time. One day when she was looking for her new Chinese friend after a performance, she came across an anxious Chinese who had always wanted to pra...